Thursday, 17 April 2014

Happy Easter!

We're off to the Lambourn open day tomorrow, so in the meantime, check out the card and Easter basket the McBaby made for me. Apparently, there was some chocolate in the basket when it left the nursery. It did not make it home.


Monday, 14 April 2014


You know when a toddler shouts "daddy" at every random man he meets in the street? Usually, it's not funny for me, as his mother. But when he spent the whole evening telling everyone that this Buddha statue was his daddy, I couldn't help but laugh!

If only rubbing his daddy's tummy brought us good luck!!

Thursday, 10 April 2014

Did you enjoy the jam tart we made you?

Lovely guy at McBaby's nursery:

"Did you enjoy the jam tart we made you for mother's day?"

Me: "Er what jam tart?"

"The little monkey must have eaten it! We made you a jam tart on Friday". Pauses. "Did you not get the cornflake cakes or the biscuits last week or the sponge the week before either?"

Someone's got a sweet tooth, just like their mum!



It was the armbands that gave me a clue.

Usually when the McBaby asks for "waty", it means he needs a drink of water. But on this occasion, he wanted to go swimming.

I had a look on the local leisure centre website to see if we could go swimming. After getting a blank page three times, I finally ascertained that there was something called "Aquazone" going on. I typed "aquazone" into the site's search box to see what that mean and it said "no results for your search."

So I put us into our swimming outfits and then put him in the car much to his annoyance. "Waty!" he shouted, as he marched down the street towards the leisure centre. When I eventually put him in the car (sadly, I had to take his armbands off to do this), and we arrived at the leisure centre, he couldn't contain his excitement and bounded up the reception desk.

"Sorry, it's swimming lessons," she said as a heartbroken McBaby peered through the glass at two people in the pool, cordoned off into their own compartment taking up less than a quarter of the pool. The majority of the pool was being unused, creating devastation as I explained to the McBaby that he couldn't go in.

I asked about the sister leisure centres in the two neighbouring towns. "Same story", she said. "Are there any other pools anywhere?" I asked. "Well, there's the private place down the road". Yes!

I called them from the car, via that directory enquiries number with the runners. They put me back through to the leisure centre we'd just come from. I tried again, finally getting through to the posh one who said it was adults only.

I tried the hotel where I used to work. No day passes. But would I be interested in joining?

Then I tried one in town that we'd considered joining some time ago as it's gleaming clean! Yes to day passes! And the toddler goes free! And I'd get a tour!

I headed there along the main road, with the McBaby now purple in the face shouting "WATY, WATY, WATY" for 20 minutes only to sense halfway there that someone's nappy needed changing. Let me say that again, someone's LAST swimming nappy. I stopped by the orange supermarket and as he was so upset, and as I'm so responsible, decided that I would run in and out. Except I joined the slowest checkout queue in the world. What seemed like an hour later, I ran back to the car and we went to the posh gym.

We pulled up, got tutted at by a posh lady on the way in (not sure if this is because I look foreign or because we didn't arrive in a 4x4 or if it was because I'd brought our swimming stuff in a Tesco carrier bag). And because of that, the McBaby REFUSED to go in. He lay down on the floor and shouted "NO!"

So we're back home, in our swimming suits. "Waty day."


Wednesday, 9 April 2014

A tenth series.....

"The writing team behind "The Adventures of the McBaby" is pleased to announce a 10th series starting today. The sitcom about long-suffering MrM and his ridiculous sidekick MrsM was first shown in 2004.

Critics said it would never last after a patchy pilot episode but the show took off quickly when the characters shared a flat in the first series. In series three, MrsM moved to London and MrM moved to Margate; the pair later reunited in West Berkshire for series five.

Further episodes took place in France, Hong Kong, New York and Toronto, as well as Hungary (remember the episode where MrM turned out to be fluent in Hungarian?), India (where MrsM repeatedly got mistaken for a waitress by the tourists) and a cliffhanger in Norway and a race to get to work on the Monday morning before the Duke of Kent got there.

Writers set the last two series in West Berkshire with the addition of a new character. Originally, there were fears that the series might have jumped the shark with the addition of the "Scrappy Doo" type character but the McBaby has proved to have added to the laughs.

Head writer Unpreparedmum said: "Happy anniversary MrM!"

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Pyjama top

I did something stupid today. However, I am really pleased about this. The reason being that it proves that I'm bad at EVERYTHING, not just being a mum!

1. I was at a networking event where we each get one minute to speak. During someone else's one minute, I somehow bump my handbag in which my mobile is stowed and set off a very loud personal development recording, much to everyone's surprise.

2. Trying to find my wallet, a voucher and getting a reusable bag out of my bag in the supermarket, meant I had no hands left, so I put my credit card in my mouth for a second. The cashier started shouting across the store: "I'm not accepting this customer's payment; it's been in her mouth!" Stupid and unhygienic of me, I know, but any need to scream this across the store? Just think where all of the cash she handles has been? She screeched it three times - I haven't been back since! I just can't imagine this would happen to anyone else but me.

So, that means I'm worse at real life than at being a mum. This week's useless event?

I put the McBaby in a snazzy new shirt that I don't recall seeing before and took him to the swimming pool. When we got there, I had to tear him out of it because it was a shirt for an 18 month old. That's why I haven't seen it for a while. To add to my shame, I also realised it's a pyjama top, not a shirt.


Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Blogging for free stuff

I recently unsubscribed from Freecycle after seeing one too many “Have you got a spare flatscreen TV and can you deliver ‘cos I don’t drive” email. While I admire the site’s ethos and the aim of keeping things out of landfill, this begging was starting to wind me up. Seriously? Who has a spare flatscreen TV worth thousands lying around?

Working in PR, I’ve now come across the latest version of “freestuffville” which is to start a blog and then bombard PR firms with enquiries. I love blogs and I admire any mummy blogger who finds time in between changing nappies, cleaning, cooking and wiping jam off the bannisters (you get the picture) to write about issues that affect us all. However, asking for things for your children to “review” just smacks of trying it on. If a PR firm wants to work with you, surely they’ll contact you? And if you must ask for things for your children, then please spell “opportunities” correctly!

These are all real emails that are shortly to be deleted from my inbox.

“Hi there im looking for childrens learning products, toys, arts and crafts for my son aged 10
daughter aged 7, daughter aged 3

Home and kitchen products
I am also looking for baking equipment and healthy food ideas

kitten products aged 7months for review”

“I am looking for review items to feature.

Ideals would be:
bicycle (after transition from a balance bike) suitable for a 3-4 year old.
Clothing: Mum or child

“I am currently looking for products to review over on my blog and would like to be able to offer my readers a competition prize/prizes.

I am happy to consider any product or competition prize as long as it fits in well on my blog and with our lives.

I would love for you to take a look at my blog and get in touch if you have any questions or opportunity's available.”

Rant over! Now does anyone want to send me some chocolates and wine to review?